Author: kpeloquin (Page 1 of 2)

 Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling)

Sentence level editing has never been a strong suit of mine. In college I at least tried to watch my grammar however it was still challenging I still have work to build on my editing skills, but I’ve seen small improvements. As I edit or write I try to be more observant on what I’m typing and if the sentence could be shortened or using different punctuation. In addition to the use of the English textbook They Say/ I Say I also would use different sentence formats to help structure some of my writing responses.

In the two reading samples above, I had used sentence structure from They Say/ I Say. They helped me format my ideas in a new way and they sounded a bit more educated it also switched up my voice in the writing.

Comparing the two edits needed between my second and third essay you notice that I put in time to look over the sentences level edits as well which can be seen from the decrease in sentence edits when reviewed.

 Document their work using appropriate conventions (MLA)

MLA format helps keep my writing organized and allows me to make sure I give proper citations and credit to the authors work. In Highschool I was pretty well at incorporating citations into my writing to give credit to the authors. I struggled more on my citation pages for work cited pages since it takes a lot of time to look for the right information for the citation. I still struggle finding the right things for the citations, but I find some slight enjoyment now almost like a scavenger hunt looking for all the information needed.

This is my work cited page from the second essay you can see that I made sure to alphabetize my authors by their last name I also had to find a new citation for the audio recording for DFW’s speech.

In this homework I remember it was bout summarizing the article also having in source quotes. When having a citation, it helps give credit to the author and shows that what is being said isn’t from my voice. It helps keep my work organized so it is easier to find where sources came from when looking back at the work cited page.

Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.

Peer review has become an important part of my writing process. Back in high school we never really had peer review, and the writing was just on me, and I could never get anything written down. With the addition of peer review in college it helped me actually be able to place my ideas down on to the paper because I knew that I had to get my ideas down so that I was able to work with another peer. When I did peer review it helped me see other people’s work it allowed me to get ideas for my own writing and it allowed me to see what others were putting in their essays. It helped direct me into the structure of writing I was looking for. Peer review also helped with my revision process since someone else was reading it they would leave comments which I was able to go back to and pick out if I felt like I wanted to expand on the ideas or take them out. Peer review also allowed me to come up with new claims to add to my essay which become especially helpful when I had a brain fog and couldn’t come up with any other ideas. Further down is a few examples of Peer review that helped my writing and also furthered my understanding of the writing.

These comments left by Aleeya were in regard to my third essay. These two comments left an impression on me because I was able to elaborate more in my essay using these comments if I felt like it. In the end I didn’t really use these comments to make and edit, however as I was writing and felt like I was hitting a brain fog I would go back to these and think about where I could fit them into my essay which in turned helped me look deeper in other points in my essay where I was able to elaborate on.

This was a comment I had left on Aleeya’s third essay. I myself was struggling on addressing the distraction and division that was signaled in the third essay’s prompt. Being able to see how Aleeya incorporated the distraction, and division helped me with my own writing since it helped spark ideas of what I could address in my essay to address the whole prompt. Since I thought about how Aleeya connect sources to her writing it also helped me go back into the reading to also relate the connection to my own essay.

Before peer review, I had gone into detail about the relationship between my little brother and I and how it brought me joy. While I was drafting this paragraph I had stopped at the end because I didn’t really know what other direction to go in and had felt there was enough given.

After Peer review Aleeya had commented on it and suggested going a bit more depth about being in college and why I felt the joy more as I was away and further exploring the relation of it and tying it into the sorrowful experience I wrote about in my essay.

After looking over the comments from peer review and seeing that I felt like I was able to try to explore more on the loss of my brother and how it affected me and relate it to more a global scale, so it related to others even without siblings. I explored the relation between kids and the innocence they bring compared to adulthood where we lose are innocence causing us to struggle on seeing joy easily as children do.

Employ techniques of active reading, critical reading, and informal reading response for inquiry, learning, and thinking.

Active reading while reading the material is valuable to your writing because it allows for you to better understand and be active with the reading. When you are more active with the reading it helps enhance your writing because you are able to make connection with the source and actually explore the concepts the author is trying to bring about. When you engage with reading it also helps you keep a more open view if you feel like you counter any of the ideas you are able to bring the up within your writing and use the quote that sparked you reaction into your writing. There are different types of active reading and connections to be made in readings such as: understanding, like words or phrases in the readings, questioning concepts in the reading, making connections can be text to self and personal connections, text to text relating with other sources, or text to world relating issues to the world. You can use different ways of annotating like challenging the readings which can be fun to go against the authors view or extend on some of the author concepts also looking rhetorically at the authors work like the way they structure there writing or sentence structure. I have always been active while reading in my English classes even back in high school. I enjoyed looking for the secret meaning the author tries to hide behind their words or challenging their views. It can be quite appealing to also see when the author helps change some of my views or helps ignite my journey of thinking about the topic they are writing about. Being active with our reading helps become better connected to it. Down below is two work samples of my annotated work from Paul Bloom’s work Is Empathy Overrated.

In this work sample in the green highlighted box area Bloom had said that empathy reflects are biases and ow it is easier to empathize with those close to us. This sparked a reaction from me which can be seen from the yellow highlighted chunk next to the paragraph. I felt different to Bloom’s idea that we can empathize with people close to us I found it opposite that it is easier to empathize with those we don’t know since we don’t know their background or there history so were more acceptable to empathize with those we don’t quite understand.

The paragraph above comes from my second essay answering Bloom’s question on if Empathy is Overrated. In the green highlighted chunk is the quote Bloom had used in the article that I highlighted. I used the annotation back into my writing since it had sparked a reaction from me I felt it would spark a reaction from the readers as well. I also wanted to call attention to the fact that I had disagreed with Blooms claim that we can empathize more with those closest to us.

In this sample if we look at the bottom of page at the red highlighted, these are my annotated definitions for the two red highlighted words in the first work sample the two words were innumerate and myopic. these two words while reading the article had original tripped me up and I didn’t really know what they meant and their relation to the sentence. Once I looked up the definitions, I was able to better comprehend the sentence. As you look up the yellow highlighted annotations were questioning the highlighted reading portion on the fact that sandy hook was broadcasted compared to Chicago shootings. As you look at the green highlighted portion you can see I make a comment towards the people in Sandy Hook who sent over toys and the solution they used to handle the explosion of stuffies.

While writing my essay answering Bloom’s question you see how my annotations come back into my writing in the green highlighted portion I argue the people solutions to sending prayers to family and suggested other solutions that could have possibly helped the families. You also see in my yellow highlighted portion how I bring back up the fact that Sand Hook was broadcasted compared to Chicago shootings and the impact that the media brings when spreading empathy.

 Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).

Through the course of taking English composition, I have improved a lot on my revision process. To be more specific I have improved on my global revision looking at the big picture of my writing rather than just writing papers with no thought behind it. While in high school I viewed the revision process as just looking over the sentence structure and only did local revision. As I progressed in English Composition I stopped worrying about the local revision and focused on the global revision being able to see the big picture. The revision process of writing is important because when you take time away from your paper your able to look at new perspectives and gain new knowledge as you go back and revise you are able to add more details to your writing. While revising you may, realize that some of your claims can be combined with others source other times you realize the structure of your writing doesn’t have a nice flow but as you shift some of the paragraphs around the essay begins to have a consistent flow. You are able to apply different way to have global revision being able to look over the big picture and working on sentence level editing being local revision. Done below are examples of ways I would revise my essays for English.

In the paragraph before revising, I lacked details in the highlighted sentence which was pointed out during peer review. I was suggested to expand on what I meant by Protect ourselves and how that relates to our emotions. this would contribute to m global revision in addition to local revision with a few sentence level errors that can be corrected in the paragraph as well.

After revising my paper, I had gone back to the highlighted sentence and decide to explain on how negative memories protect us in life since they allow for us to make future decisions being almost like a case and effect relationship. I also decided to expand more in the essay adding in an example that could be related to a negative memory that cause you to learn from in the highlighted sections I used burning your hand on a stove for example. You can also see in the highlighted sections that local revision also occurred fixing simple sentence level errors however some are still present allowing for more revision to occur.

In this sample I had placed a quote from my second source in my introduction paragraph, but I lacked actually introducing the author for the quote I was citing. In the dark highlighted section, you can see the quote and a simple sentence that slightly connects the two sources however I gave an uneven amount of explanation for my first source compared to the second source. This was noticeable during peer review and was called to my attention to make sure to fully introduce the author and the source before placing a quote.

After going back and revising my paragraph I tried to introduce Ross Gay more clearly and explore the meaning of Inciting Joy Comparing the two samples your able to see from the highlighted section how much I expanded on the idea and on Ross Gay’s work and his connection between sorrow and Joy.

Be able to integrate their ideas with others using summary, paraphrase, quotation, analysis, and synthesis of relevant sources.

Integrating ideas into your writing is important because it brings out a voice and opinion in your writing. However, to strengthen the claims you are trying to make in your writing you must also integrate other’s ideas whether similar to your view or not. Bringing in other sources helps make you writing stronger because it shows that it’s not just an idea you are putting out but also something others view and see. If the ideas, you integrate are against your views as well also helps because it allows for you to counter them to make your point come across more. When I was in high school majority of my writing when I though integrating sources meant having to place quotes within in the essay and explain the quotes relevance of it being placed into my writing. I also felt like my writing couldn’t really have my own ideas and my own experiences. Since taking English Composition, I’ve found ways to incorporate my own ideas but also in collaboration with other sources ideas. Using quotation styles such as paraphrase, partial quotes and full quotes in addition to using different techniques to incorporate sources such as the quote sandwich technique and using a Barclay paragraph structure to compare two sources.

 Because of the fact we were in different states now if we didn’t have a source to communicate we would evidently end up falling out of touch with each other shifting Emily’s spot within the Dunbar which could eventually land in the outer rings because of the disconnection. However, because of social media Emily and I are still able to have an emotional connection that we’re both able to maintain hence we do lose the physical connection that our friendship was also developed on.   

Yet some readers may challenge my view by insisting that social media does take away physical? connection within a friendship, and to a point I do agree with them. Social media does take away an aspect of our friendship, the physical connection one retains in a friendship. Dunbar best points out how keeping “face-to -face friendships strong [is from] the nature of shared experiences” (Konnikova 4).  Having those shared experiences are able to help amplify a friendship and social media isn’t able to create the same experience of laughing together compared to watching a funny video separately instead. For example, moving into college and meeting your roommate on social media. It can be good to try and connect and find common interests to see how the room may function. I have friends who have had the experience where they thought the pairing would work out well but when they actually met at move in things fell apart. Social media does hold up a barrier since “on the internet, you can pull the plug and walk away,” (Konnikova 7) you don’t have to be your true authentic self even though we say we try to put out ourselves we all internally put up a front. 

However, there are exceptions to everything especially when it comes to connections, not everybody puts up as much of a front on social media. We could call out some politicians or other infamous figures for examples. But Chen brings up a better example through Megan’s friendship with David Abitbol which started over opposing views through social media but their relationship was still respectful and friendly over social media even with their different opinions. When Megan finally was able to meet David “[Their] in-person interaction resemble [their] twitter interactions,” (Chen 18). There are times where social media interactions are still able to transfer over when meeting face-to- face for some it may even be able to amplify the connections. 

1. While going back and looking at my habits of using transition phrase I see a pattern of using them only in a contrast sense and I use more of the frequently used transition phases that some to mind when thinking of transition phrases. They were at least used through my essay and they also did connect the two paragraphs seemly as if they were one but the two focused on different claims.
2. The But highlighted I could us a different transition more as an example rather as it seeming like a contrast instead, I could have used “For instance Chen…” or ” Consider Chen’s example of…” Using But as the transition phrase sounds as if I were contrasting what the author is saying while I am actually trying to use them as an example. Using these two transition phrase in contrast shows that I am using the author as an example rather than countering I could also change the last However and change it into a concession transition phrase such as ” although it is true, there are exceptions…” or use ” Although” on its own. This would give the essay variety of words, and will also better help demonstrate what I want my readers to understand.

1. I agree with Bloom’s main argument that Empathy is overrated because people forget the actually meaning of empathy and sort of act as if giving empathy was a trend. People these days feel that if you do something for someone it means that in return that we deserve something back. Acts of empathy isn’t meant to reward you its meant to help other people and lift you guys both up emotionally not by being rewarded for something. However, I do disagree with some of his claims that he brings forth since all cases have exceptions and also when social media is involved there is an advantage over situations being broadcasted versus if they weren’t broadcasted. In addition, some of his examples he gave were more because the people in charge weren’t taking in other possibilities into consideration.
2. Bloom challenged me to really think on how I think on empathy because I know that I use empathy through life to try and help the people around me but just because I know how to use empathy doesn’t mean others do. Bloom brought that to my attention by mentioning the Sandy Hook incident somehow the people that saw it happen on the News thought that sending stuffed animals was a kind gesture to support the families that lost their child. While for some of them it may have come from good intentions but for others it was more a trend the town had asked for less donations, yet people still sent them. If I were to hear about the situation, I wouldn’t have taken such extreme measures like these other people had taken I don’t know the families and the impact this death had on them I would try to show condolence but at the same time give support and help if the families asked for help.
3. One claim Bloom states is that ” empathy is limited as well as it focuses on specific individuals” (2). After this quote he talks about the Sandy Hook incident and how it was treated. He compared it to shootings that happen in Chicago. When reading his I can understand how he says that empathy but these reasons why people felt more empathy for the Sandy Hook children compared to the Chicago shooting is the fact that the Sandy Hook shooting was broadcasted all over America too see it wasn’t limited to just the state of Connecticut to see all the states in America saw while in contrast we can guess that if shootings happened in Chicago it was only televised in the state of Illinois rather than in neighboring states. The spotlight affects that Bloom talks about more comes from the fact that social media is now involved, and people try to televise everything that’s happening.

Peer review at a college level was very different from when I did it in high school. In high school we practically never did peer review and the work was really just on us. During peer review I received feedback about how some of my claims were strong and how it was nice on how I used personal experiences to connect to the readings. I also got feedback on if there wasn’t something that wasn’t making a lot of sense or if the sentence got the reader tripped up. These types of comments helped me a lot because I already acknowledge that even though what I type makes a lot of sense to me when someone else reads it, it doesn’t make sense at all really or its confusing for them to actually get what I am trying to say. Reading a peer’s work allowed me to kind of get a sese of what others’ views for the essay are and they also help realize other connections points that I can make into my own writing. Reading another peer work also helped encourage me a little on my writing I struggle with writing and actually liking what I put down so seeing others messed up parts helps me in turn. The biggest challenge of Peer review was doing the whole time and finding new mistakes or new things to comment on. At a point there’s only so much I can say because I really don’t have that well of sentence level editing and if I already looked at the essay and made comments about certain things it’s because that’s what stood out to me the most. It was a challenge to continue revising when I still feel like I only have so much to offer in advice.

1. Zadie Smith is an English novelist, essayist, and short story writer who studied at the University of Cambridge. She also is a creative writer professor at New York University for a point in time. We should pay attention to what Smith has to say because of her creative writing background she finds different topics to write about that have a bigger meaning like her essay of “Joy”.
2. Smith distinguishes joy and pleasure as pleasure is an instant feeling of relief at hat is constant for example eating and ice pop for seven minutes for Smith pleasure your able to feel in shorts amount of time and you honestly forget about it once its happen. While Joy is an over heightened feeling that you don’t want to lose. You don’t want to lose it so bad that it can bring forth pain. Smith child for example if able to bring her joy but also pain if she were ever to lose that child. Smith’s interpretations are pretty eye opening to be seeing since I never thought of pleasure as something that I was having instead of Joy.
3. Joy is difficult to manage and live with because of the fact you are scared of losing it. I do agree with Smith that jo is difficult because it aligns with suffering you wouldn’t be able to feel any joy if you weren’t afraid to lose it since who wouldn’t want to be joyful its sort of like a drug once you have you don’t want to lose it. Smith uses her child as an example on how living with joy can be difficult. You have a mixture of terror, pain and delight when having a child (Smith 331). That child is such an innocent vessel that you are able to care for and as a parent compared to taking care of a pet you expect to die before you child however there the ever-looming fear of what’s to happen to your child the dangers of the world.
4. Joy is an underrated emotion that we all believe we hold value and have an understanding of, so we think we don’t need to talk about it a lot and often. However, when we begin to read about joy, we see other people’s interpretations reading about it makes us take in consideration other views on it and we then begin to implant those views ourselves. When we discuss joy with others, we bring in different experiences that cause Joy my joy comes from my family and little brother and little things in life while for others their Joy is found within the sports, they play activities they run or even sitting in the comfort of their room. Joy is a universal emotion that we all experience at one point but never really think about and take time to truly reflect on it. When we think about Joy were actually able to reflect on it and find our true joys in life. It may seem like a small thing to take into account but the smallest things in life have the biggest impact on life.
5. Smith’s essay overlaps with many of our previous reading such as Konnikova’s in relation to the relationships were able to maintain those physical interaction while also bringing forth Joy. Also connects to DFW speech since we also need to hold empathy for the people around us so that we can build connections and friendship if we didn’t we wouldn’t have anything to be joyful for. Joy also comes from the fact that we need to focus on our own happiness coming back to the mindset that we are the center of our own universe like DFW says when we focus on empathy.